Big Girls Don't Cry

All our cute kids in their pajamas

Big girls do cry. Oh yes, they do. They cry quite often. Big girls cry more than when they were little girls, in fact. Little girls cry when they fall and skin their knees or when their brothers break their favorite toys or when their mommies tell them they can’t spend the night at their friends’ houses. All those things seemed like good reasons to cry then but the little girls grew. They grew and they grew and very soon they became big girls. And big girls have many more reasons to cry. Big girls cry when men break their hearts. But they also cry when men win their hearts. Big girls cry when they see their babies cry. But they also cry when they see their babies smile. Big girls cry when they have to say good-bye to new friends and they cry when they say hello to old friends. Big girls cry on their worst days but they also cry on their best days. Oh yes, big girls DO cry. And big girls who are married to Navy boys? …well, they have even more things to cry about.

There’s no one in this world who has seen me cry more (with the exception of my mom) than my dear friend and fellow Navy wife, Erin Chinn. I have to introduce her using both her names because she’s too extraordinary for just one. Erin Chinn is famous in my social circles and any story of which she is the star has to be prefaced as “an Erin Chinn story” so that the audience will be prepared for the unbelievable contents that are to follow. I tried to think of a good story to share here as an example but they were all so outlandish that I doubted any of my readers would believe them without having actually met the amazing Erin Chinn. So you’re just going to have to take my word for it. I’ve known Erin for over five years, since our husbands were stationed together at the naval nuclear training command in New York, and in that span of time we’ve come to know each other very, very well.

Erin Chinn has an amazing ability. She makes big girls cry. Erin has a gift for sensing when people are struggling with an emotional hardship and she has an even greater gift for getting them to confide in her. Complete strangers will spew their entire life stories out to Erin in the check-out isle of the grocery store. It’s almost like she has a sign on her shoulders that reads, “CRY ON ME.” Erin has a peaceful presence about her that soothes even the most anguished hearts. I know. She was the first person to hug me after I learned that I was miscarrying my baby years ago, she is the only friend to have ever seen me scream in agony at the zenith of childbirth, she was my favorite person to call when I needed to cry out of loneliness during James’ deployment, and I could go on and on. She has changed my life through her talents in more ways than I can count.

This weekend my kids and I went to a sleepover at Erin Chinn’s house. (See? That wasn’t even intentional. I really can’t talk about Erin using only her first name.) Erin’s husband works in the same department of the same ship as my husband. They’re currently at sea, and so we decided to take advantage of our husband-less freedom and throw a private pajama party for ourselves and our kids…..Okay, honestly? Mostly for ourselves. Everyone got comfy in their warm, snuggly sleepwear on Saturday night. We had a pillow fight. Then all the kids were tucked in bed wearing huge smiles on their faces and we moms went downstairs to enjoy some festive eggnog and the romantic brilliance of Love Actually. We stayed up for hours afterwards talking. And crying. And, it never fails, I always leave feeling happier and less burdened than when I came after sharing a good cry with a great friend.

Big girls DO cry. We cry quite often. And since I am a big girl and since I have so much to cry about, I want to say that there’s no better person to cry to than Erin Chinn. And there’s no better place for big girls to cry than at little girl like sleepover parties.