All that is Beautiful

Folklore’s creatures of death (ghosts, goblins, witches, vampires, zombies, etc.) give cemeteries a bad name. The first time that James and I turned onto the street that we now live on, back when we were house hunting with a three-month-old Josie strapped into her car seat behind us, we were on our way to view the house that soon thereafter became our home and James told me that he could never live so close to a cemetery. To some extent I can understand why, knowing that some people associate them with a tragic death or personal loss. But to me, cemeteries encompass all that is beautiful in the world. They embody God’s most awesome creations- nature and humanity. They are peaceful, serene, wide open spaces with green grass, tall trees, and sweet smelling flowers. Generations of loved ones are there laid to rest, side-by-side forever. I have an awe-inspired reverence for these treasure troves and as I walk amongst the headstones I often shudder to think of the long forgotten histories which dwell there: mothers, fathers, brothers, sisters, sons, and daughters; countless stories of happiness, tears, joy, frustrations, triumphs, and trials. They are historical havens. Yes, cemeteries really are amazing places.

So when I combine this strange infatuation with my desire to get my kids outside for some direly needed playtime, I am often brought to the conclusion that we should take a walk through our nearby cemetery. Today it was sunny and 47 degrees outside, which made it a perfect day for such a cemetery stroll.

As we walked down the rustic path that weaves leisurely through the cemetery, the kids stopped to pick up stray sticks, twigs, leaves, pinecones, and rocks. Each one holds a world of wonder to a young, inquisitive mind. Josie declared that she was collecting these things to make a bird nest, which she did as soon as our little caravan came to a stop at the foot of the Saratoga Battle Monument.

Josie accumulating her "bird nest" supplies

I set out our picnic lunch as Jamie ran around the base of the monument searching for “bu” (bugs). Every time he saw one of the tiny black figures inching its way across the grey stones he would shout an exclamation of discovery. He pointed to it to make sure I’d seen it. Then he stomped on it with all his might and gave me a huge grin of self-satisfaction, his signature dimples deeper than ever. I got him to sit down and take a bite of his sandwich, but only for a minute. Then he caught a glimpse of another bug, tore a large piece off his PB&J, and ran over and fed the bug some sandwich.

Jamie found a bug!

Jamie squished a bug.

Josie and I held a long conversation, as we basked in the glow of the sun, about said bugs- where they live and what they eat. We concluded that bugs do not eat peanut butter and jelly sandwiches.



Big, beautiful smiles

 Eventually it was time to make our way back towards the house but we took our time and made plenty of stops for exploration and discovery. For now we talk about the plants and the animals but someday, when the kids are older, I can see myself starting discussions about all the history to be found here in the cemetery. As I watched Josie and Jamie zig-zag through the headstones this afternoon, I smiled. I love to see my children- who are my present and society’s future- in a setting so rich with the past.

Little Man in Uniform

I love a man in uniform. The evidence is obvious- I married a sailor. I insisted that he wear his uniform on our wedding day and I continue to insist that he wear it for each and every family portrait. Sewing the patches and insignia onto his uniforms gives me a thrill, watching him march in parades is exhilarating, and I don’t think I even need to describe the awesome excitement I feel when he steps off the ship after a long deployment donning his sharp dress blues and stark white dixie cup. There’s nothing I love more than wrapping my arms around my man in uniform….



James and Jenny, Memorial Day 2009



But cuddling my little man in uniform sure comes close!



I saw this pint sized sailor uniform while I was drooling over the adorable clothes on the Janie & Jack website. I immediately added it to my cart, breaking my own cardinal rule (“Never buy anything full price”), but I just couldn’t risk it selling out. The instant I tried it on him, I knew I’d made a wise investment. I don’t think I’ve ever seen anything so adorable! I plan to have Johnny dressed up in this uniform all summer long and you can bet that he’ll be wearing it for James’ homecoming celebration later this year.

Lifeguard On Duty

Motherhood is such a blessing! But it is also the most painful thing that I have ever done. Don’t worry, I’m not about to start in on a detailed account of the agonizing act of pushing an 8 pound human being through my cervix without so much as an Advil (thrice, I might add!). That is always a fun topic. But what I’m actually talking about here is something that involves a lot less blood. The two most difficult things about being a parent are this: first, trying to protect your child from harm and second, trying to prevent your child from harming himself and others.

Jamie and Johnny at Tiny Tots Tea Room

 If the world is a beach then parents are the lifeguards. It is our job to protect our children from the powerful forces of the universe, and we are always on duty. We look down from our towers, watching our children as they build castles in the sand and splash in the cool waters, and when danger draws near we leap to our feet and rush to the rescue. As is true with the ocean, there are times when risks are at their highest- like when there is a high tide, a strong current, or sharks are in the water.

I consider our trip to Tiny Tots Tea Room this Thursday to be one of those ‘strong current’ situations. Whenever you stick a dozen energetic toddlers in a small room full of bright and colorful new toys, it’s a high risk situation. The concepts of taking turns and sharing are still difficult for my little ones to grasp and so I have to be diligent in keeping a wary eye out for disaster. Within the first quarter hour of our play time I had to intervene a few times when Jamie tried pushing kids away from the castle that he had commandeered.

But I was surprised how quickly the tides turned. Soon a rush of children flooded through the doors and many of them were stubborn little boys who seemed to have chosen Jamie as their arch nemesis. One little boy followed Jamie around like a dark shadow and knocked the toys out of his hand every chance he got. Another chased him down in one of those foot powered cars yelling, “Beep! Beep!” and attempted to run him over at full speed. There was a lot of pushing and shoving and some being sat on, and then the inevitable crying and screaming that follows.

The respective mothers of these boys (Notice how it’s always the boys?) dealt with the problem in a myriad of ways. One mother sat on the floor in the far corner of the room, watching her son with a smirk on her face that gave the impression she was enjoying the spectacle. Another stood at a distance, playing with her cell phone, and she periodically looked up long enough to shout her son’s name in a “tisk, tisk” tone but she never interjected herself into the situation. A third mother stepped in and removed her son from play so that she could convey to him that his behavior was inappropriate. Now, it would be natural and easy for me to make assumptions and pass judgment on these women and their parenting skills. But that is not my intention. Quite the contrary, I aim to express my appreciation for mothers like them and their ongoing plight.

After an unfortunate incident between Jamie and one of his friends- on this occasion Jamie was the culprit- that occurred last week in the midst of what was otherwise a perfectly pleasant play date, I have been thinking a lot about my role & responsibilities as a parent in such situations. The conclusion that I think I’ve come to is that we, as parents, much approach the issue with patience and understanding. We all want the same thing: to protect our children from pain and to prevent our children from causing pain. We are all trying our hardest to be the best lifeguards we know how to be. We just want to enjoy a beautiful day in the sun. But kids are bound to get sun burnt from time to time, even on the beaches with the world’s best lifeguards.



This is my idea of a "day in the sun;" Josie and Jamie sharing a strawberry smoothie.



Gymboree 101

James and I may be a couple of average, homely looking people- me with my wolf woman eyebrows and him with his raccoon eyes-but together we make really cute kids. Heck, no need to be modest, our kids are more than cute, they’re freakin’ adorable! And I know no better way to accentuate all that adorableness than with a cute Gymboree outfit.

Baby Josie in one of her first Gymboree outfits, Spring 2007

It’s no secret that I am addicted to Gymboree. I would estimate that 95% of the clothing my kids wear comes from the Gymboree retail store. A good friend first introduced me to the spender of Gymboree in the spring of 2007 and my addiction has escalated ever since. Everywhere they go, my kids are always receiving compliments on the way they are dressed. Sooner or later the compliments turn into questions, or more precisely, one question: How do I afford to spend so much money on kids’ clothes on a modest one income household budget? Well, here you go. Allow this old dog to teach you some new tricks.

How to Shop at Gymboree

1.)    Make it a priority- I always tell people that first and foremost, the reason why I can fit Gymboree into my budget is because I make it fit. Buying and selling my children’s clothes has become a hobby for me. I see value in and appreciate the importance of my children having good quality, attractive wardrobes. I am willing to forego other luxuries in order to buy them clothes and I’m not ashamed to admit it.

Josie, 2008

2.)    Know the sales- Never, ever buy anything at full price. Gymboree has a regular rotation of sales and almost as soon as one ends another one begins. New merchandise is released frequently (sometimes as much as every two weeks) and they mark down older collections to make room for the new ones. You can periodically be on the lookout for Circle of Friends, Fill-A-Bag, Big Red Balloon, and Baby Sales. Amidst those big name sales are also regular price reductions and holiday sales. In order to know the best time to shop, it is important to stay informed. My favorite go-to sites for up to date information on Gymboree sales are Gymbohaven and Gymbofriends. These ladies are dedicated Gymbo-aholics and they offer reliable information to us bargain seekers.

Jamie, 2009

3.)    Use a coupon- With only a few exceptions, Gymboree allows you to combine coupons with other offers. For example, during the Baby Sale some items are marked down to 50% off and you can additionally use a 20% off coupon at the register. That makes an item with a price tag of $19.95 cost only $8. But it gets better than that. I’ve often found items on the clearance racks for $1.99. Take off an additional 20%, and you’d be hard pressed to find a better deal! Coupons are readily available. I find them in free magazines that come to my mailbox, tear them out of magazines in doctors’ office waiting rooms, am handed them by friends who have no use for them, and in a pinch I can pay $2 for them on eBay.

Johnny, 2010

4.)    Gymbucks and Rewards- The way I see it, all us parents have to keep clothes on our kids’ backs. So if you’re going to spend money on children’s clothing anyways, you might as well earn something while doing it.  Take advantage of Gymbucks and Rewards Membership. During earning periods (which is basically always, unless it’s a redemption period), whenever you spend $50 at Gymboree, you earn $25 in Gymbucks. This is essentially a 50% off coupon because you receive $25 off a future $50 purchase. Even if you don’t intend to use your Gymbucks, you can sell them and turn a profit. In addition, sign up to become a Reward’s Member. There’s no reason not to. It’s free, you can shop some sales a day early and therefore get the best deals, they will mail you coupons, and they will send you “rewards” (i.e. a store gift card) each quarter based on how much you spent the previous quarter. I love receiving my Rewards email because it means a trip to the mall on Gymboree’s dime.

5.)    Resell it! - This is my most valuable advice. Gymboree clothes have a surprisingly high resale rate. There are scores of addicts out there who are itching to get their hands on their favorite collections from years past, and they’re willing to spend a pretty penny doing it. This is just one advantage to buying clothes that last, because they can survive the test of constant wear and be passed down multiple times. I sell my kids’ used clothes on eBay before the start of every season and use the proceeds to buy their clothes for the upcoming season. It’s labor intensive, but it’s well worth the effort. It takes me about 2 ½ weeks to prepare, list, sell, and mail the items but I make anywhere between $400 and $800 every time. Trust me on this one!

You’re welcome, in advance, for enriching your life with this valuable information. You can consider me your  Gymboree-aholics Anonymous sponsor. Only, instead of encouraging you to beat the habit, I’m enticing you to dive in further. I have personally led at least a handful of moms into an inescapable obsession and I don’t plan on stopping there. CAUTION: Once you go Gymbo, you’ll never want to go back.

(Side note: I cannot begin to explain how difficult it was for me to choose which pictures to adorn this post with, because my kids are wearing Gymboree in almost every single picture I've taken of  them for the last four years, with the exception of bath tub photos. So this is just a random sampling of a few of my favorites.)

Mr. Golden Sun

The best way I can think of to describe last week is with a familiar children’s song. It goes like this, “Oh Mr. Sun, Sun, Mr. Golden Sun, hiding behind a tree….These little children are asking you, to please come out so we can play with you…Oh Mr. Sun, Sun, Mr. Golden Sun, please shine down on me!” Around here we’ve been begging Mr. Sun to come out and play for quite some time and last week he finally answered our call. For the first time in the year 2011 we had enough consecutive days with temperatures above freezing to thaw the ice and melt the snow. So we shed our winter coats and ventured into the great outdoors.

Wednesday was rainy but the kids got to splash around in some slushy puddles. Rain may sound dreary to most of you, but we’re just thankful it’s not snow!

Thursday we spent the morning playing outside with some friends. They have a super long driveway which is perfect for ride-on toys. Check out Johnny getting in on the action…

Friday was a beautiful sunny day! After picking up Josie from preschool I refused to let the kids inside the house. The sandbox had just become exposed after a long winter beneath the snow so the kids were mesmerized by all the muddy possibilities it offered them. For lunch I grabbed a blanket and we sat in the driveway eating peanut butter and jelly sandwiches picnic style.

As you can see, if you look closely at the left of the picture, Beast helped himself to a bite of our picnic too.

Sunday we took our first trip of the year to the park. As soon as the car doors opened, Josie and Jamie were sprinting towards the playground. Going an entire winter without a slide or a swing must seem like an eternity to a four and a two year old. The smiles never faded from their faces, even as the sun went down.

It is currently snowing and our front lawn that was exposed yesterday, taunting us with the hope of spring, is white today. Oh, Mr. Golden Sun, please come back so we can play with you!

"Intentional Mothering"

Have you ever asked yourself one or more of the following questions? Am I doing a good job? Am I making the right decisions for my family? Am I doing what God wants me to do with my life? I think we all have. For the most part, I would consider it healthy to play host to a reasonable amount of self-evaluation and introspection on a regular basis. But recently these questions have captured my thoughts and have been holding my emotional health at bay. I have been preoccupied with my own self-worth. Fighting this inward battle has been taking my attention and energy away from where it should be. To put it simply, my priorities are all screwed up.

So when a close friend extended an open invitation to me and my fellow members of a small group Bible study to join her in fasting for Lent, I jumped at the chance. My recent self-assessment has brought into question a lot of my family’s daily habits, which are of course MY daily habits, since the kids’ routines are formulated by my own. I saw the chance to give something up for Lent as an opportune stepping stone towards making important changes in my life and, by extension, the life of my children. It took me a couple days to decide exactly what to fast from but I eventually came to the conclusion that for 40 days I would not drink soda, eat cookies, or consume candy. It is an extreme step for us, to be sure, but I also agreed to give us some leeway. We can have other “treats,” such as birthday cake, ice cream, pastries, and ambiguous snacks such as rice krispy treats, which are technically neither a cookie nor a candy. I felt confident leaving room for these items because they are not on my regular shopping list or baking rotation and can rarely be found in the house, so there is almost no chance of them being eaten on a daily basis. My goal here is to make healthier choices.

But practicing this Lenten discipline is about more than avoiding empty calories. The heart of the matter is that I intend to connect my desire to eat healthier to my desire to mother better. Therefore, I found a book to read as my Lenten devotional to help me connect the dots. It’s entitled Mothering Heights: A Novel Approach for Christian Mothers by Keitha Smith and Susan Brereton. I’ve only gotten through the introduction and first chapter so far but I would HIGHLY, HIGHLY recommend this book to the young mothers out there who are struggling to raise Christian children in today’s challenging world. The authors strive to encourage women to be what they call, “intentional mothers.”

An intentional mother is someone who has given consideration to the value and purpose of motherhood, and who incorporates biblical principles at the core of how she raises her children. Intentional mothers have an understanding that motherhood is a relational role, not a task-oriented role. An intentional mother knows that raising her children does not boil down to an endless list of things to do or accomplish but rather is a living, dynamic relationship that will provide the foundation on which children build their lives.  (Smith and Brereton, Mothering Heights, page x)

The book goes on to describe that intentional mothers are able to withstand the trials of daily life and tribulations during hard times because we have an eternal perspective. We see that we are investing in the treasure that is our children and, in so doing, can rely on God’s approval and enrichment.

For the first time in a long time, I finally have my priorities in line. I feel lighter and less burdened. The feeling lighter part has a lot to do with the fact that I’ve lost about 6 pounds (Note: I have been combining my ‘no sodas, cookies, or candy’ with fewer snacks, smaller portioned meals, and a 20 minute routine on my exercise bike a day.) But I also feel invigorated. I am disciplined and determined and all of these are making me a better mother and a better person. I’ve seen such a change in me and in my household and it’s only been a week and a half. I can’t wait to see what the weeks ahead have in store for us!

Dressed up for church (The boys are wearing homemade bow ties).