Insights into the Life of a Navy Wife, Part I*

You know that feeling you get on the last day of a really great vacation?  You might know it well if you’ve ever gone to stay with family or friends who live far away. You try your hardest to enjoy the time you have left together, to make it count, but at the same time you feel gloomy because you know the fun has to end soon.  It’s almost like trying to soak up the sun when you can see storm clouds on the horizon.

Well, that’s the atmosphere that has been looming around our house lately. Next week James will be traveling to Norfolk, Virginia to report to his new ship, the U.S.S. Enterprise. The kids and I will be staying in New York to “hold down the fort.” We don’t know for sure when the next time is that we’ll be able to see him but we do know that his ship will deploy in the near future. We have known that this day was coming for quite some time. But no matter how prepared your head may be, your heart is never fully equipped.

It’s almost like trying to answer the question, “If you only had one day left to live, how would you spend it?” (Only not quite so drastic.)  It’s impossible to give enough ‘I love you’s to last your spouse a year or to get enough hugs & kisses to sustain you for months. When we’re sitting around the living room watching TV I feel like we should be making a lasting family memory. When I’m cooking a casserole for dinner I feel like I should have roasted a turkey with all the fixings. When I put on my flannel pajamas I feel like I should have chosen the sexy red lingerie. No matter what I’m doing, I feel like it’s not enough.

And then there’s the fear- fear for each other’s safety, fear of the distance, fear of the inevitable unexpected circumstance, fear of the all-too-common miscommunication, fear of the loneliness, and even the fear of showing fear.

The days leading up to a prolonged separation are, in a word, agonizing. Imagine asking someone to help you remove a band-aid from your arm and as they slowly pull it back you feel every hair get yanked from its pore. It makes you want to shout, “just do it, already!” In many ways the separation itself is easier to accept than the days preceding it. When they’re still at home you know the worst is yet to come….

But every strong Navy wife has a coping mechanism. Most commonly, it is a positive distraction- an activity into which she can pour all her emotions and energy during her husbands’ absence. I am blessed. My husband will leave me with the sweetest, cutest, most loveable positive distractions in the whole world….

* I have named this 'Part I' because I'm sure that I will feel compelled to share more about Navy Life in the coming months.