Constant Change

“When we say things like "people don't change" it drives scientists crazy, because change is literally the only constant in all of science. Energy. Matter. It's always changing, morphing, merging, growing, dying. It's the way people try not to change that's unnatural. The way we cling to what things were instead of letting things be what they are. The way we cling to old memories instead of forming new ones. The way we insist on believing, despite every scientific indication, that anything in this lifetime is permanent. Change is constant. How we experience change? That's up to us….If we open our fingers, loosen our grips, go with it, it can feel like pure adrenaline.” –Meredith Grey Shepherd

Don’t laugh, but I got this quote from an episode of the television show, “Grey’s Anatomy.” I realize that’s it not exactly a reputable source. I probably should have quoted an educational program by National Geographic or a documentary that was aired on The History Channel or something to that affect. But then this blog post is a far cry from a master’s thesis, so I trust I’ll get away with it. I fell in love with “Grey’s Anatomy” right after James deployed in January and I watched three or four episodes a day in those first couple of months. I just couldn’t get enough. Mock me if you will, but for a TV show it makes some powerful points about human behavior. It may just be a fictional weekday medical drama centered on a cast of eccentric surgeons, but the talented writers behind the script know that people in all walks of life can relate to the challenges that their characters face. In the episode I quoted here, the challenge was change.

It doesn’t take a Ph.D. to realize that “change is constant.”  No one is more fully equipped to confirm this scientific truth than parents. Mothers and fathers witness monumental change on an almost daily basis. We bring our babies into this world as tiny, innocent, helpless beings who can fit in the palm of our hands. Then almost overnight they are smiling and cooing and filling our hearts with more joy than we knew existed. Soon thereafter they are sitting up and flinging fists full of food across the dining room and trying our patience more than we knew was possible. Next they are crawling up the stairs and falling into the coffee table and climbing over the baby gates and causing us more worry than we think we can take. Change after change after change. Our children change. And we change. People always change. One day they are babies and we’re scratching our heads as to how to get them to sleep and the next day they are five-year-olds and we’re wondering where the bus stops.

 Change is the only constant in all of parenting. How we experience that change is up to us. I love my babies but I wouldn’t want them to stay babies forever. Whenever I find myself getting caught up on how much I miss certain things- like the way my belly would bump when they kicked me during pregnancies, or the sweet little sounds they made when they slept as newborns, or how their faces lit up when we played peek-a-boo in their infancies- I find that the important thing to remember is that for each thing I miss, there followed something equally as exciting.  

Sure, it would be easy for me to feel sad that Josie is now a kindergartener and cry, “She grew up too fast!” But I’d rather be happy. This has been an exciting week for me. Josie is changing right before my eyes and I am so proud to watch my little girl become an independent young lady. Her change is also changing me- I am adjusting to being the mom of a school aged child and I obviously have a lot of things to learn. But I’m not scared and I’m not sad.

The big yellow bus is taking our whole family on a journey and there are many new adventures along the road. Yes, I will look back fondly at those memories of my children as babies, but ultimately I will face forward with eagerness. I embrace the change.

“If we open our fingers, loosen our grips, go with it, it can feel like pure adrenaline.” – Meredith Grey Shepherd, “Grey’s Anatomy,” Season 7: Episode 1.