Homesick

Homesickness is a serious illness. This may sound silly but homesickness is actually very tragic and quite complicated. It’s difficult to diagnose since there are no outward telltale signs, like a revealing rash or contagious cough. Unless you have a deep personal relationship with a person (or else read their blog) you would never know that they are suffering from it. The symptoms can range from mild- a few weepy spells and long distance phone calls home- to severe. In the most serious cases, homesickness can cloud a person’s judgment, alter their perception, and lead to illogical actions. But ultimately the worst thing about homesickness is that there is no known cure.

I am so homesick. Rapidly, in the course of a few days, the illness penetrated my body and overtook my entire system. The causes are no mystery to me; a combination of factors all came together at once. First, fall made its appearance in Hampton Roads, which was a painful reminder of what I am missing. You see, fall is the season that made me first fall in love with New York- the cool weather that calls for cute knit hats and scarves, the beautiful changing leaves in all their exquisite colors, the picturesque pumpkin patches and apple orchards around every corner beckoning you to stop and enjoy the bountiful fruits of the season. I miss those things. And I yearn for my friends. Fall always seems to be a time of reconnecting with friends. After the crazy summer schedules die down and everyone settles back into a routine, that’s when the playgroups and the ladies’ nights find their way onto the calendar. But not for me, not this year. My loneliness hasn’t been much of a problem the past few months since James has been home and we’ve been enjoying time together, but this week his work load onboard the ship increased tenfold. He was barely home at all and when he was it was just enough time to exchange a few hugs and stories from the day and for him to give me the dreaded news of upcoming underways and deployments, which brought me face to face with the reality that come December I will not only want some friends to rely on, I will need friends to rely on. So in the long, cold, dark nights I have been forced to face the fact that I am very sick; homesick.

I took my self-diagnosis and attempted to self-medicate. I figured that since I can’t be in New York, I might as well try to find traces of New York in Virginia. My online search for local apple orchards turned up empty but one of my aunts, who used to live near Richmond, steered me towards a farm in Chesterfield that bragged of a pumpkin patch, corn maze, pony rides, hay rides, etc. My sister, Julie, and I made plans for our families to meet there on Saturday and enjoy a full day of fall fun together. I WAS SO EXCITED! I mean, more excited than I’ve been about anything since James’ homecoming. Yes, that excited. Here was my chance to pretend I was up north enjoying New York-like activities with the added bonus of having the companionship of a life-long friend, my sister, for a full day.

Saturday finally arrived and everything was perfect…for about an hour. We paid our $35 admission and the kids ran straight for the farm animals.

We were saving all the good stuff, like the corn maze and the pumpkin patch, for the day ahead. The kids all hovered around the rabbit pen and then made their way to the chickens, where Jamie put his hand through the fence and received a shocking peck from the dominating rooster.

We continued down the line to the goats and James purchased some food so that the kids could feed the animals.

Johnny was eager to take a handful of pellets but then wanted to keep them all to himself.

When I shook his hand and threw his stash to the chickens he screamed in angry protest.

I found it funny. After our cup of food was gone we caught a ride on the tractor train. At first we were just going to watch the kids ride around but the tractor driver insisted we ride along, and I’m glad he did. It was the highlight of my day. The kids were all so happy as we drove in one big circle around the fruit fields. These were the best pictures I took the whole day.

When we came to a stop my sister and her family had arrived. Josie had been talking about seeing her cousin Angie for days- in fact, I think it was the only thing that got her through school on Thursday and Friday.

After some hugs and a few pictures we all went to find some lunch.

But no sooner had we finished our concession stand hot dogs and nachos than the skies opened up and it began to rain. Word quickly spread that the farm was closing due to weather. My spirits sank.

Under ordinary circumstances the disappointment might not have been so unbearable, except that I was relying on this outing to act as a healing remedy for my homesickness. Now that it had been taken away, I was heartbroken. We harassed the reluctant farm attendant for a full refund and then decided to drive to Richmond to go to the Children’s Museum there. It was a nice museum but I was too sad to see it. Everywhere I looked there was a reminder of what I was missing. Specifically, Johnny’s favorite exhibit was a large imitation apple tree.

Big red balls, a.k.a. “apples,” were propelled through various tubes that wound throughout the tree top and the children collected the balls in baskets when they popped out through the holes near the bottom.

I watched the kids with delight but in the pit of my stomach there was a nagging sickness. Oh, how I miss apple picking. The other thing that was missing at the museum was that adult interaction I’d been craving. Our five kids had a marvelous time, but the four adults had to run in all different directions to watch over them so we barely had time to visit. The two and a half hour drive home was miserable. I endured the trip with a splitting headache, bouts of car sickness, and Johnny screaming in my ear the whole way. So much for this weekend making me feel better.

So what do I do now? The same thing that anyone does who is suffering from an illness to which there is no cure. Endure it and pray that time will heal. And, whenever possible, manage the pain. Phone conversations with loving friends is a great way to ease the discomfort. Christine, Kelly, and Joy- talking with you this week did wonders for my emotional health! Baking that apple pie on Friday afternoon brought me some warm, sugary comfort as well. But more than anything these are the three best doses of pain reliever available: Josie, Jamie, and Johnny.

They constantly remind me that no matter how homesick I may feel, home is always here with them.