Lifeguard On Duty

Motherhood is such a blessing! But it is also the most painful thing that I have ever done. Don’t worry, I’m not about to start in on a detailed account of the agonizing act of pushing an 8 pound human being through my cervix without so much as an Advil (thrice, I might add!). That is always a fun topic. But what I’m actually talking about here is something that involves a lot less blood. The two most difficult things about being a parent are this: first, trying to protect your child from harm and second, trying to prevent your child from harming himself and others.

Jamie and Johnny at Tiny Tots Tea Room

 If the world is a beach then parents are the lifeguards. It is our job to protect our children from the powerful forces of the universe, and we are always on duty. We look down from our towers, watching our children as they build castles in the sand and splash in the cool waters, and when danger draws near we leap to our feet and rush to the rescue. As is true with the ocean, there are times when risks are at their highest- like when there is a high tide, a strong current, or sharks are in the water.

I consider our trip to Tiny Tots Tea Room this Thursday to be one of those ‘strong current’ situations. Whenever you stick a dozen energetic toddlers in a small room full of bright and colorful new toys, it’s a high risk situation. The concepts of taking turns and sharing are still difficult for my little ones to grasp and so I have to be diligent in keeping a wary eye out for disaster. Within the first quarter hour of our play time I had to intervene a few times when Jamie tried pushing kids away from the castle that he had commandeered.

But I was surprised how quickly the tides turned. Soon a rush of children flooded through the doors and many of them were stubborn little boys who seemed to have chosen Jamie as their arch nemesis. One little boy followed Jamie around like a dark shadow and knocked the toys out of his hand every chance he got. Another chased him down in one of those foot powered cars yelling, “Beep! Beep!” and attempted to run him over at full speed. There was a lot of pushing and shoving and some being sat on, and then the inevitable crying and screaming that follows.

The respective mothers of these boys (Notice how it’s always the boys?) dealt with the problem in a myriad of ways. One mother sat on the floor in the far corner of the room, watching her son with a smirk on her face that gave the impression she was enjoying the spectacle. Another stood at a distance, playing with her cell phone, and she periodically looked up long enough to shout her son’s name in a “tisk, tisk” tone but she never interjected herself into the situation. A third mother stepped in and removed her son from play so that she could convey to him that his behavior was inappropriate. Now, it would be natural and easy for me to make assumptions and pass judgment on these women and their parenting skills. But that is not my intention. Quite the contrary, I aim to express my appreciation for mothers like them and their ongoing plight.

After an unfortunate incident between Jamie and one of his friends- on this occasion Jamie was the culprit- that occurred last week in the midst of what was otherwise a perfectly pleasant play date, I have been thinking a lot about my role & responsibilities as a parent in such situations. The conclusion that I think I’ve come to is that we, as parents, much approach the issue with patience and understanding. We all want the same thing: to protect our children from pain and to prevent our children from causing pain. We are all trying our hardest to be the best lifeguards we know how to be. We just want to enjoy a beautiful day in the sun. But kids are bound to get sun burnt from time to time, even on the beaches with the world’s best lifeguards.



This is my idea of a "day in the sun;" Josie and Jamie sharing a strawberry smoothie.