Have you ever asked yourself one or more of the following questions? Am I doing a good job? Am I making the right decisions for my family? Am I doing what God wants me to do with my life? I think we all have. For the most part, I would consider it healthy to play host to a reasonable amount of self-evaluation and introspection on a regular basis. But recently these questions have captured my thoughts and have been holding my emotional health at bay. I have been preoccupied with my own self-worth. Fighting this inward battle has been taking my attention and energy away from where it should be. To put it simply, my priorities are all screwed up.
So when a close friend extended an open invitation to me and my fellow members of a small group Bible study to join her in fasting for Lent, I jumped at the chance. My recent self-assessment has brought into question a lot of my family’s daily habits, which are of course MY daily habits, since the kids’ routines are formulated by my own. I saw the chance to give something up for Lent as an opportune stepping stone towards making important changes in my life and, by extension, the life of my children. It took me a couple days to decide exactly what to fast from but I eventually came to the conclusion that for 40 days I would not drink soda, eat cookies, or consume candy. It is an extreme step for us, to be sure, but I also agreed to give us some leeway. We can have other “treats,” such as birthday cake, ice cream, pastries, and ambiguous snacks such as rice krispy treats, which are technically neither a cookie nor a candy. I felt confident leaving room for these items because they are not on my regular shopping list or baking rotation and can rarely be found in the house, so there is almost no chance of them being eaten on a daily basis. My goal here is to make healthier choices.
But practicing this Lenten discipline is about more than avoiding empty calories. The heart of the matter is that I intend to connect my desire to eat healthier to my desire to mother better. Therefore, I found a book to read as my Lenten devotional to help me connect the dots. It’s entitled Mothering Heights: A Novel Approach for Christian Mothers by Keitha Smith and Susan Brereton. I’ve only gotten through the introduction and first chapter so far but I would HIGHLY, HIGHLY recommend this book to the young mothers out there who are struggling to raise Christian children in today’s challenging world. The authors strive to encourage women to be what they call, “intentional mothers.”
An intentional mother is someone who has given consideration to the value and purpose of motherhood, and who incorporates biblical principles at the core of how she raises her children. Intentional mothers have an understanding that motherhood is a relational role, not a task-oriented role. An intentional mother knows that raising her children does not boil down to an endless list of things to do or accomplish but rather is a living, dynamic relationship that will provide the foundation on which children build their lives. (Smith and Brereton, Mothering Heights, page x)
The book goes on to describe that intentional mothers are able to withstand the trials of daily life and tribulations during hard times because we have an eternal perspective. We see that we are investing in the treasure that is our children and, in so doing, can rely on God’s approval and enrichment.
For the first time in a long time, I finally have my priorities in line. I feel lighter and less burdened. The feeling lighter part has a lot to do with the fact that I’ve lost about 6 pounds (Note: I have been combining my ‘no sodas, cookies, or candy’ with fewer snacks, smaller portioned meals, and a 20 minute routine on my exercise bike a day.) But I also feel invigorated. I am disciplined and determined and all of these are making me a better mother and a better person. I’ve seen such a change in me and in my household and it’s only been a week and a half. I can’t wait to see what the weeks ahead have in store for us!
Dressed up for church (The boys are wearing homemade bow ties).
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